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WELCOME TO THE MYSTICAL READINGS OF PROF. LASZLO...
PROF. LASZLO PREDICTS....IN THE NEAR FUTURE THIS BLOG WILL BE OPEN TO QUESTIONS ABOUT ANY SUBJECT THAT IS SHOW BIZ RELATED...
Until this occurrence, the future is cloudy, but the past is crystal clear....
For the time being I am assembling an expert staff to field the questions which I will be unable to answer...
I read in the mystical crystal ball that there will unavoidably be trouble...
For this reason, the first to join my staff is the legendary strongman from the Carpathian Mountains ...
ZOLTAN the MAGNIFICENT...
Zoltan shall deal with the troublemakers...
Tags: bouncer, carnival, circus, Coney, hey, Island, magic, rube, sideshow, Strongman
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Comment by Prof.
Laszlo 2 hours ago -
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headline
"SAVIOUR OF CONEY ISLAND" CRUCIFIED BY JEWS...
NEWS FLASH...
from blog posted by Thomas Hoey...
"Strong, now knowing that time was running out on him, met with Jewish property owners across the street from the area that Sitt is developing. A deal was made and set. However, evidently, a small glitch came up when the devout Jewish owners found out about the rear end wipe-someone elses-yarmulke-on your ass-incident from 2009. Upon learning about the alleged incident the Jewish owners rejected John as a tenent."
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Comment by Prof.
Laszlo 11 hours ago
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Prof. Laszlo shall endeavor to
mystically divine the answer to perplexing questions from the readers...
Post questions in the comments window…
Remember, those pure in heart need not fear, but those with bad intentions…
SHALL BE ATTENDED TO BY ZOLTAN…
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Comment by Prof.
Laszlo 22 hours ago
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PROF. LASZLO PREDICTS...
IN THE FUTURE...YOU WILL LEARN THE PAST...
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Dear Prof. Laszlo,
I am a big fan of the Universoul Circus. I worked for years as an organizer of community events in the Chicago area . I lucked into a great job in Washington and now live and work here. Unfortunately, with the way the economy and everything seems to be going, I fully expect to be unemployed within a few years. I seem to be able to influence people and have been complimented for my public speaking. Do you think there is a future for a Black man in America as a sideshow barker?
Barry from DC
Barry, there has never been a better time…
It will not be easy. This of course has nothing to do with race. In the first place, the Sideshow does not employ barkers. Dogs bark, people talk. The Sideshow needs a great talker…
This is the man who calls attention to all the wonderful things to be seen and experienced inside the big tented theatre. This is the man who introduces the attractions to the public. This is the original use of persuasion and the ancestor of the intelligent TV commercial.
This is a role that is difficult to play believably. One must study and understand what makes it work…
Following is a capsule textbook on the subject of the Bally…
Study hard, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, and I am certain that you will meet with success…
Best of luck
Prof. Laszlo
GREAT BALLY TALKERS
An analysis of their techniques
By Prof. Laszlo
The bally
The traditional bally consists of three distinct parts. The first of which is known as “MAKING AN OPENING” or “BUILDING A TIP” This is followed by “ THE PITCH” The bally performance always ends with “THE TURN” or sometimes “THE JAM”
Many who read this are already familiar with the structure and the format of the bally, and there are many great examples of scripts for one to follow, but I believe that this is not enough. In this article I shall concern myself with not so much a “how to” guide, but rather an explanation of why it works. The psychology and the motivating factors which determine the effectiveness of the bally performance... Not what to say, but how to say it, and when.
The bally is sophisticated advertising. It is a theatrical play intended to sell tickets to another theatrical play. It is, in essence, a free sample, a short skirt, one potato chip, your first dose of heroin, the upside down answer to the riddle you can’t answer. It is, ideally, the ultimate tease. It is worthless unless done well. In order to do it well you must understand it well.
The most overused word in the world of advertising is “SALE”. The strongest word in the world of advertising is “FREE” . There is seldom profit in the use of the word “FREE”in the world of commerce. The bally is a notable exception. The word “FREE” is your most useful tool when it comes to building a tip. After all, the bally show is free. “THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS, IT’S ALL FREE, RIGHT HERE, IT’S STARTING UP RIGHT NOW, A BIG FREE SHOW, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE MANAGEMENT AT NO CHARGE, SO JUST GATHER ‘ROUND AND WATCH WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO RIGHT DOWN HERE AT SIDESHOW, WHERE THE STRANGE PEOPLE ARE…WATCH THE DOORWAY, HERE THEY COME, WE’RE GONNA BRING ‘EM OUT HERE, ALL FREE, SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE, WATCH THE DOORWAY, DON’T BLINK, DON’T LOOK AWAY, KEEP YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN, YOU DON’T WANNA MISS ANY OF WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, AND IT’S ALL FREE…” etc…
So you’ve assembled a motley collection of freeloaders, now what do you do? Well…every journey begins with a single step and great things arise from humble beginnings, so... You use them. They may never be customers, but they can attract customers. Like flypaper, once a few flies are trapped, others are drawn. Monkey see, monkey do . Remember that, it will be useful later. You must keep them amused, so they don’t drift away. A little business, a gag, some ######, go ahead, smear it on. Stall…Create suspense… it builds as people stop and ask… “What are they all looking at?”… Get the assembled masses to crowd in…the tighter the better… One interesting technique I observed was the legendary Ringling ringmaster, and Walter Wanous number one bally talker, Count Nicholas, who, at one point, simply tucked his microphone under his arm and worked the front row, since the people behind couldn’t hear him, they pushed and crowded in, now they were packed in like sardines, with no escape…Masterful. Another terrific example was a bit Jack Waller used, “Now folks we would like to continue with the free show but we have received instructions from your local emergency services that we are required to maintain a fire lane on the midway that cannot be blocked by the crowd, so before we can continue with the free show, I must ask that EVERYONE, please take a few steps forward towards the stage, that’s right, everyone crowd right in, make room for your friends and neighbors, now Ma’am, you won’t be able to see from way back there, little Bobo the Bear girl is only so tall, and you need to get closer if you want to see her…”…Motion to them to step in as a group, a sweeping gesture. Do it three times, once at each end of the stage, and once to the middle..A command from a figure of authority… This is very important, as you instruct them to step in closer, take a step backwards on the bally platform. They will follow your instructions without hesitation. This is an important step in the bally process, by forcing people to listen and obey, you are psychologically conditioning people to continue to listen and obey, this establishes a working precedent, you are training people with a subtle Pavlovian technique, conditioned reflexes… By now you should have a large well packed crowd, trapped, with no where to go, and you are ready to begin the pitch. Since the crowd is trapped by the people behind, they will have no choice but to listen to your pitch, in full. You will lose only from the outer fringes. That is why we try to pack ‘em in tight. It is also an effective technique to at this point develop a “hook”. A promise of something that you must not miss…a treat…a cliffhanger…some unimportant business that creates suspense, it will help hold them during your pitch. Open the pitch with a hook, something you refresh periodically by referring to it, for example, on a girl show, “ The little lovelies are backstage right now getting undressed for their next performance and we’re gonna have them come out here for a little free sample…” Command people to not miss this, as this is a sight of a lifetime. Then pitch what you’ve got. Pitch it to the best of your ability. Exaggerate some things to the point of disbelief. Paint a picture in the minds of your prospects. Make it weird, maybe a little scary, you know, scary weird carnie…or whatever you like…these are details, the bally is about points. Bally talkers were paid points . Points come from sales. Make sales. Use words. Use any words. Word up on words. Word is, no special words are required. A script isn’t necessary. A few good cracks, and an explanation or two, and a few promises. Strain your credibility a time or two. Promote skepticism. Make some phony misleading guarantee. ###### them about your acts. And there, you’ve made your pitch. Way better than butchering someone else’s masterpiece. Do yourself a favor, don’t read from a script. Don’t memorize a written pitch. Play it by ear, fly by the seat of your pants. It’ll work way better. Just remember, this is a play that is largely improv and it’s a documentary about another play that your audience can’t afford to miss. Use words that will cause your prospects to create images in their minds that they cannot resist the desire to examine. For example, “ You’ll see the giant, Johann K. Piettersen, The Icelandic Giant, That’s right, you’ll meet a real live giant, a man who stands nine feet, nine and three quarters inches tall, he weighs seven hundred and sixty three pounds, wears shoes the size of barrel cut in half, his belt is long enough to go around a horses belly, and he wears a ring that you can use for a napkin ring. He is real, he is alive, you can talk to him, he will answer your questions. You can shake the giant by the hand, and what big hands he has…hands the size of Virginia hams, positively the largest man to walk the face of the earth…” As the pitch is made, it is always good to bring out the attractions one at a time and pitch what they do as the crowd is examining them. In the case of the giant, it would have killed the sale to bring the giant out, so brilliant showman Glenn Porter had the giant reach out from above the sidewall of the tent, high above the average persons normal height, and ring the clapper on a giant ship’s bell. Johhan truly did have huge hands, and this was very impressive, and noisy. Exploit the monkey side of Curious George. Tell them only enough to create intense curiosity…THEN TURN THEM… The turn is the part where all this stuff pays off. The turn is where all the freaks motion “follow me”4, turn as one, and march inside. The crowd wants to go with them and see what they do. Get it ? The Bally Talker facilitates this. Nay, he COMMANDS that this be so. He pulls rank, he insists, he has the authority, he is in charge. This has been previously established. Repeatedly. During the bally, it was established that he is in charge, the freaks obey him, a vollunteer from the audience obeys his instructions. It is firmly established in the minds of the crowd that he is to be obeyed. He is the Ringmaster of oddities, The Hypemaster General. With a dash of Freud. Publicist to the Freaks. He’ll tell you all about it. And make you a heck of a deal, “ If you are quick enough, smart enough, alert enough, but mostly fast enough to get in line right now, in front of either one of these two ticket clerks right now, you and your party will enter not at the usual admission price of six dollars, but….for the next few minutes and the next few minutes only…EVERYBODY, I said EVERYBODY,…gets in now for a child’s, I said a childs…half price ticket, only three dead presidents to see the show of your nightmares, a jennuine freak show you bet, so hurry along into the tented theatre, cause it’s starting right now…Don’t miss a moment of it…GO NOW!!!” ….
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Comment by Prof.
Laszlo on May 23, 2010 at 7:15pm
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A taste of things to come
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Dear Prof. Laszlo,
Do you really believe in Psychic predictions?
Mz. Browne
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Dear Sylvia,
I have in the past, entertained thoughts of predestination and a predictable future, but I really have no idea what I may come to believe in the future…
I once had an incredible opportunity to set up at a fair and pick my own location anywhere on the grounds. This is a chance a Showman gets only rarely…
Not being familiar with the fair and with only one thing located on the grounds at the time, I had no idea where to pick. The one location I could not have was the location where another concession was already set up…
The concession already set up was a “Mitt Camp” …
A “Mitt Camp” is a fortuneteller’s booth. This one had a flashy banner boldly stating, “Psychic Readings”…
I made up my mind on the spot that if anyone could possibly know in advance where a great location was, it had to be the psychic…
Well, the location ended up being terrible and my neighbor, the psychic, complained throughout the fair about “being in the doniker”…
I replied, “Didn’t you see this coming, I mean if you were really psychic you would have set up somewhere else!”…
The fortune teller is a great sideshow act and Houdini was right, great entertainment, but totally bogus…
Any attempt to predict the future is a gamble, and successful gamblers play the odds. The lottery is a tax on people who are not good at arithmetic. If you want to know the future, learn the past. Understanding history, the forces and conditions which affect the outcome of situations is the key. Soak up information like a sponge, process it like a computer, and apply the knowledge to your maximum advantage…
The only reliable way to predict the future is to create it…
Prof.
